A tribute from a grandson
by: Javier Alfonso Tumangan Roxas
Melancholy farewell
It was November 1st of that year, in Christianity it is celebrated as All Saints Day. Families gather and visit the deceased where they are buried or they stay at home if the remains are there. My grandfather’s grave used to be visited by me and my family every weekend. We would reminisce about him from the bad and good times. We were all struck hard with his passing, and remembering that made me want to emphasize the intensity of grief in losing someone. The whole family lost someone so dear that his passing broke our hearts. So I dedicated this to him and to the rest of my family. His passing marked the beginning of a somber season.
Denial in pink
An empty bench. Alone, with no one to serve as their seat anymore. A bench is always occupied by someone but one day that person faces the inevitable. Just like how someone who occupied our life so often passes away. How would you feel if you were on a bench in that situation? A way for some of those feelings to speak out to an audience is by inserting different colors that tell different feelings on how we respond to loss. The five stages of grief are commonly occuring feelings in people dealing with it. In this piece, the color pink which communicates denial of the loss. Its color starts to saturate as the grief starts. When the new reality is hard to adjust to because you can’t accept what happened by distracting yourself. Insanity ensues, grief lives within me.
Anger in red
An empty bench. Alone, with no one to serve as their seat anymore. A bench is always occupied by someone but one day that person faces the inevitable. Just like how someone who occupied our life so often passes away. How would you feel if you were on a bench in that situation? A way that some of those feelings could speak out to an audience is by inserting different colors that tell different feelings on how we respond to loss. The five stages of grief are commonly occuring feelings in people dealing with it. In this piece, the color red tells the feeling of anger that you lost someone dear. Its color is more saturated as grief’s intensity rises. Experiencing extreme emotional discomfort many times by blaming the world for what happened, instilling the thought that it is impossible to move on. Insanity intensifies, grief lives within me.
Bargaining in orange
An empty bench. Alone, with no one to serve as their seat anymore. A bench is always occupied by someone but one day that person faces the inevitable. Just like how someone who occupied our life so often passes away. How would you feel if you were on a bench in that situation? A way that some of those feelings could speak out to an audience is by inserting different colors that tell different feelings on how we respond to loss. The five stages of grief are commonly occurring feelings in people dealing with it. In this piece, the color orange starts an internal bargaining with your thoughts that you feel that things could have been different or you could have done something to change the course of events. Its color is saturated to the greatest extent as grief’s climax occurs. In the end you know very well that the past can’t be manipulated. Insanity peaks, grief lives within me.
Depression in B/W
An empty bench. Alone, with no one to serve as their seat anymore. A bench is always occupied by someone but one day that person faces the inevitable. Just like how someone who occupied our life so often passes away. How would you feel if you were on a bench in that situation? A way that some of those feelings could speak out to an audience is by inserting different colors that tell different feelings on how we respond to loss. The five stages of grief are commonly occuring feelings in people dealing with it. In this piece, the colors of black and white show the mental fatigue of depression. Its color is withdrawn from within as grief plunges to its lowest point. Void of color, emotionless. You start to think about the person that you are grieving for, but sorrow runs over your heart like a truck and a deep sadness ensues on the inside as if you lost the will to live without them. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting something different. I will never escape this abyss of grief if I will not change, if I won’t move on.
Accepting the light
One day, my family was visiting our grandfather’s grave. The sky was illuminated by the golden hour sun. While I was walking around the memorial park, I saw a little boy sitting by a group of graves. It looked like he was putting down flowers on them. It made me think that he was giving thanks to his loved ones for being with him until they were gone. Of course as a stranger, I really don’t know what he was thinking about, however his actions reminded me that the ones who are gone from us physically, are still within us. With that revelation, the final stage of grief can ensue: Acceptance. When we accept loss, it will give us happiness when we remember them and a will to move on. Those positive feelings are what give light to our hearts. The sun setting marks an end in the journey of grief. Insanity has been blown away from my mind by the winds of peace, at the place where his remains lay. I learned to change my view of death so insanity will not consume me no more. Finally, I felt at peace.